Martins Don't Climb Trees
by Purple Shamrock 17
Summary: An alternate version of Martin getting stuck in the tree during "Uskerty". Inspired by Carolyn's line, "Oh, great, I'm stuck in the middle of Ireland with Captain Winnie-the-Pooh!" Enjoy and please review!


**Author's Note: Here's my second Cabin Pressure fic! I probably took a few liberties with the medical aspects but I did as much research as I could, at least concerning EpiPens. I hope you enjoy my alternate version of this scene and reviews are greatly appreciated. Oh and I hope you enjoy the small Doctor Who reference. **

Martins Don't Climb Trees

"Oh, thank goodness," Carolyn sighed in relief as she hung up her mobile. She walked the short distance to the road as a small brown car pulled up to her and stopped.

"Ah, so it was this field that Martin was talking about," said Douglas as he opened the door and got out. "I very nearly got it mixed up with the ten others we passed on the way."

"Leave the sarcasm for later, Douglas," Carolyn said with a sigh. "And help me get Captain Winnie-the-Pooh down from his tree. Lord knows this would be the perfect time for me to find out he's allergic to bees."

"Given Martin's luck he probably doesn't even know if he's allergic or not," Douglas muttered, as they walked towards the tree and its terrified occupant. At Carolyn's panicked look, he added. "Gerry, in his ever increasing need to please, showed me the airport's rather wide selection of first aid equipment. So I brought this little chap along as a precaution." He pulled out a syringe-like object from his pocket.

"What's that?" Arthur asked.

"It's an EpiPen, Arthur."

"Wow! Is that like a sonic screwdriver?"

"No, Arthur. Does it look anything like a screwdriver?"

"No, but neither does the sonic screwdriver! So, what's that pen thing for?"

"Hopefully, you won't have to find out," said Douglas, as he pocketed the EpiPen. The three of them then continued walking toward the tree. As they drew nearer, they saw Martin clinging to the branches while several bees circled around him. "Oh, good, you found the field!" Martin called out.

"Yes, but it's not as interesting as the man who disturbed a perfectly happy beehive," said Douglas as he looked up at Martin.

"Well, they're the ones who built their hive on a dead branch!" Martin yelled.

"Is that why Mum called him Captain Winnie-the-Pooh?" Arthur asked. "Because he made the bees angry?"

"Yes, Arthur," Douglas said slowly as he turned to look at him. "That, and the fact that he can't get down."

"Well, now that's not true," said Arthur with a grin. "Pooh gets down with a balloon. It's Tigger who gets stuck in a tree and can't get down."

"Arthur, that is completely and utterly beside the point!" Carolyn snapped. Turning toward the tree as well, she said. "Martin, if you don't get down soon, we'll miss our flight time!"

"It's not like I want to be stuck up here, Carolyn!"

"Yes, well, clearly the bees haven't forgotten about you so you'll just have to slide very slowly down the tree."

They watched in silence as Martin loosened his grip and slid down to the next firm branch below.

"Good, very good!" said Carolyn. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No, but-but it's still a long way down," said Martin. Yet he seemed to muster up some more courage as he tentatively lowered his foot to another branch below before he snatched it back with a yelp of pain.

"What's wrong, now?" Carolyn asked.

"I believe Captain Crieff is experiencing the effects of disturbing a beehive," said Douglas smoothly.

"Oh, for goodness' sake, we're never going to get him down if a bee stings him every time he moves!"

"I told you I'd never climbed a tree before, Carolyn," Martin said. While they had been talking, he had managed to make some progress in climbing further down the tree, although the bees still seemed set on making him pay for upsetting their hive. He had lost count of how many times they had stung him.

"That's why we need a narrator!" cried Arthur, with his ever-present grin. "That's who helped Tigger get down last time."

"Now that you've mentioned it for the umpteenth time, Arthur. Martin does remind me a bit like of Tigger," said Douglas. "Because, Tiggers can't climb trees and as we have seen here, neither can Martins. Or at least the Martin currently stuck in the tree, can't."

"I know!" said Arthur. "And his hair is orange and he's got stripes! Well, on his arm anyway."

"True, but I think if anything, Captain Crieff is most like Rabbit," said Douglas.

"Oh, why?"

"Because as you know Arthur, the Captain does his flying by the book just as Rabbit is very exact and-dare I say-obsessive about his gardening." He paused and then called up to Martin. "And how's it going up there, our dear Rabbit of Negative Euphoria?"

"Oh, it's fine. I'm fine," said Martin nervously as he clung once more to the tree. "Everything's fine. But...I am feeling a bit dizzy and I really don't want to fall."

"Don't worry, Skip!" Arthur called out. "Falling out of a tree is just like...falling out of bed. Well, I mean, except for the 'Splat!' at the end, they're basically the same thing."

"Arthur, that is the most ridiculous analogy I've ever heard," said Douglas. "Even more so that it came from you."

"Oh, I didn't think of it," said Arthur. "I got that from a movie. It's what Tigger says to Piglet when he gets stuck up a tree. Hey, Skip!" He looked up at the tree and the trapped Martin. "Maybe you're Piglet!"

"He's certainly got the height requirement for it," Douglas remarked.

"Shut up, Douglas!" Martin yelled. "I swear, if you don't-". He stopped abruptly as his eyes widened in shock. Then, the three people on the ground watched as his grip loosened on the branches and he began to fall out of the tree.

"Martin!" Carolyn cried as Douglas and Arthur raced towards the falling pilot. They managed to catch him before he landed and then lowered him gently to the ground.

"Skipper!" said Arthur frantically. Looking at Douglas, he added. "What's wrong with him?"

"Well, Arthur," said Douglas. "Remember how you asked what an EpiPen was for?"

"Yeah?"

As he spoke, Douglas pulled the said object out of his pocket and carefully removed the gray cap at one end, avoiding the other black tipped end. Keeping his gaze fixed on his task, Douglas gently but firmly inserted the black end of the EpiPen into Martin's upper thigh. Then with a glance at his watch, he counted to ten seconds before he removed it. He was rewarded when he saw the needle protruding from the end and he couldn't help but smile at his success.

"Right," said Douglas as he carefully as he slipped the gray cap back onto the EpiPen. "He should come around in a moment and then we need to get him to a hospital as quickly as possible."

"Come on, Skip! Wake up!" Arthur cried.

"Arthur, don't worry, he'll be fine," Carolyn assured him. "Look, he's waking up now."

As they watched, Martin's eyes fluttered open and he blinked several times as he stared up at them. "What...happened?" He asked hoarsely.

"Oh, nothing much," said Douglas airily. "We've all just been introduced to your-until now, unknown-allergy to bees."

* * *

The next day, Martin returned to the flight deck with a clean bill of health and a new EpiPen to show for his first (and hopefully last) adventure of climbing a tree. While he was relieved to be back in the flight deck, there was the small problem of Arthur asking him questions about the experience.

"For the last time, Arthur, I did not have an out-of-body experience! And no, you cannot poke me with the EpiPen like Douglas did!"

"Oh, I know, it was just really brilliant when he brought you back to life," Arthur insisted.

"Arthur, I was fine, really."

"Except for the fainting-and-falling-out-of-a-tree bit," said Douglas. "And realistically, if I hadn't administered the EpiPen, your throat would have swelled up and you would have suffocated."

"Thank you for the image, Douglas." He paused as he looked to see Arthur clinging to him as if he had already collapsed. "Arthur stop hugging me!" Martin ordered. "I'm fine!"

"Sorry, Skip!" He let go. "Oh, by the way, Douglas...what did you decide? Tigger, Rabbit or Piglet?"

"What?" asked Martin, instantly on alert. "What's he talking about, Douglas?"

"Oh, just a little debate Arthur and I had going on while you were up a tree," Douglas told him smoothly. To Arthur he said, "Oh, I don't know. I like to think he's a bit of all three, especially after today's adventure."

Arthur grinned. "So that makes him a…Tig…rab…let. Tigrablet! Brilliant!"

Martin groaned at the prospect of being such a ridiculous name. Douglas knew that the tree incident by itself would be enough to torment Martin for at least a few weeks, said. "Actually, you know what, Arthur? Considering yesterday's events, I have to see that he is most like Tigger."

"I knew it!" Arthur said happily. "Much easier to remember than a Tigrablet."

"Indeed," Douglas murmured as Arthur left the flight deck to prepare for takeoff. When he was gone, Martin said. "Thank you, Douglas. For what you did…after I fainted."

"You're quite welcome, sir," he replied. "I mean…Tigger."

Martin opened his mouth to retort but thought better of it. With a shake of his head at this new form of teasing, Martin turned back to the controls and continued with the standard check before they took off for home.

**Author's Note: Please review! **


End file.
